Monday, July 8, 2013

Leaving Pt. 2

I kissed my boyfriend goodbye last night and put him on a plane to California. Knowing I would make it there eventually, but the lack of a set reunion date on my calendar was the hardest part. I'm starting from scratch (again) in Long Beach, so that struggle of how I'll fill my days is keeping me here. At the end of the day it will just be the same type of existence in a different place. Why not just go?

I matured a bit while I was in Philly. I still don't feel how I imagine an adult to feel, but, as a person, I grew. It was my first time living away from home and I really didn't know anybody (aside from Matt) when I moved there, so I was forced into becoming more of an adult than I'd ever been before. Eventually I made friends, great friends, and discovered that the shy girl of high school didn't exist anymore. Being afraid of putting myself out there didn't get me anywhere and I was "rewarded" me with fake relationships and friendships of convenience. And ain't nobody got time for that.

In moving forward I need to realize that I will make friends again, I will find my way in Long Beach, and I shouldn't put off moving there because staying here is safe. This is still my home, but Chicago has become more of a place to visit than anything else, a place to pass through. New things are scary and heartbreaking (sometimes), but isn't that the way life should be?

As scared as I am, good things will come. The great thing about this not being a permanent situation is that I'm forced to live in the now because we might not be living there after six months. In the year and a halfish I lived in Philly I traveled to 3 countries (2 of them new) and 10 new states, not including those I just passed through. The goals I've set for my California months might be ambitious, but I'll be happy with whatever I may accomplish.

July: Ghey date with my Austalian penpal of 8ish years. I will have met all of my penpals IRL.
August: Visit Sedona, AZ//Weekend in Vegas?
September: Sheep & Wool festival in Portland, OR//Weekend in San Francisco
October: International Hot Air Balloon Festival in Albuquerque, NM//Friend's wedding in Chicago
November: Visit to Philly for the half marathon
December: ALASKA//Home for Christmas

Get back on track with running. That half-marathon isn't gonna train itself.
Try yoga. It's free, it's on the beach, it's everyday.
Write, in some form. No other requirements
Home brew.
Try cooking new things.
Learn more about wine & wine culture.
Design a new pattern every month.
(...don't buy a car full of yarn...)

I leave on Saturday.

No comments:

Post a Comment